Post 1
What? Insolvency and Bankruptcy, and Your Mental Health
“She might have the weight of a criminal charge and civil claims on her shoulders, but Cathy Jayne Pearce still has a strut in her stride.” ~ The Advertiser, March 2009
For many, it is much easier to point the finger of blame, rather than offer their understanding.
In all the negative publicity that you will read about me -- and there are many articles that span across the last 4-5 years -- there is not one article that discusses how bankruptcy and insolvency affects a person’s state-of-mind. You also will not find any information on how to deal with bankruptcy and insolvency, as in, where to find help, whom you can possibly turn to for advice, and how to dig yourself out of the dirty-great big financial hole that you have mistakenly dug for yourself.
Now, before you point the finger of blame at me, and say, “Hey Cathy, you got yourself into this mess, then it should be you that gets yourself out.” Why don’t you consider how it feels to be in my shoes, and think about all of the other high-profiled business people, personalities, celebrities, and directors of corporations that have found themselves in a similar situation to me?
Walt Disney declared bankruptcy in 1923, Larry King in 1978, Francis-Ford Coppola in 1990, Kim Basinger in 1993, Donald Trump in 1992, 2004, and in 2009, AMF Bowling Worldwide in 2001, Converse Inc., in 2001; Kmart Corporation in 2002, and the Reader’s Digest Association in 2009, just to name a few.
Honestly, how would you feel if you were constantly in the limelight with the media hounding you and private investigators following you, whilst you were trying to make sense out of your mistakes and understand where you went wrong? Especially, when these mistakes had cost you and your family their livelihood, and left you without a home, your lifestyle, and your most prized possessions. And, in addition, you had cost others money, their investments, which many had put high-hopes on making a profitable return.
Tell me how would you feel?
Personally, I felt depressed. I lost my self-esteem and had an overwhelming sense of failure. I sought out comfort foods, had many a sleepless night, and cried more times than I care to admit. In fact, the only thing that I honestly felt that I had left was the love of my husband and children, which are undoubtedly unconditional.
When your face insolvency and bankruptcy you get this crushing feeling of hopelessness, as if, nothing will ever be the same and that there is no hope of recovery. But, I now know that there is hope, providing that you know where to find it.
Your first steps to overcoming bankruptcy, is to get your mental health under control and to defeat depression and the anxiety. This can be accomplished by:
- Visiting your health professional and discussing your situation, so that they can assess if you need any medication to cope with the stress. This may be as simple as sleeping tablets so that you can get a good night’s sleep.
- Making sure that you maintain your health and fitness levels. This can be achieved by eating well, exercising regularly, and taking time-out to enjoy those little things that you never had time for before, such as reading and other past-times and hobbies.
- Focusing on changing your financial situation. Learn to stop blaming yourself for the situation you are in, and start looking for ways to change it.
- Seek out likeminded people. Look for support groups on-and-off-line that are comprised of others, just like you, who have experienced bankruptcy, so that you can learn how to rebuild your life, and share your story.
- Speaking to a councillor about your anxiety and depression, so that you can move on and leave the past behind you.
And, please remember, that if you are feeling lost, alone, and are in despair that there are organisations that can help you immediately, such as Lifeline and Beyond Blue in Australia. If you reside overseas, please contact your local depression advice centre, or type ‘depression support groups’ into your web-browser to locate an online group where you can talk about your depression.
“Today I am bankrupt and financially embarrassed, tomorrow I strive to repay my debts and learn to once again hold my head high.” Cathy J. Pearce, Jan2011
Post 2
Where? When Your Friends Desert You Where Do You Go For Help?
“In one of the alleged phone calls, Mrs Pearce is said to have threatened to hire a hit man if she did not receive the money she claimed she was owed.” ~ The Advertiser, June 2008
Friendships are forged on trust, but what trust can you have when allegations are continuously being made?
Whether you voluntarily file for bankruptcy or it is forced upon you, the one thing that you never stop to consider is how this will affect your friendships. Undoubtedly, events in your life, such as bankruptcy are bound to sort out your genuine friends from those who were just there for the good times.
How do I know this? Personally, I have lost many friends. In fact, today, after my bankruptcy, I can honestly say that I have very few friends. Most of them disappeared as soon as word got out. And, those that hung around for a little longer, I feel remained just to make sure that the rumours were true, and once they got confirmation, they were gone.
The friendships that I still have today are those that dearest, and cherish. I know that these people are not just interested in my lifestyle and that they are not riding on my coat tails. Instead, they are genuinely interested in me, and my family’s wellbeing, and they sincerely want to see us get back on our feet and regain our lives.
The funny thing is, through all of this I have learned a great deal about human nature, and I have grown-up and left that naïve, carefree girl, who was once the property-developing princess called Cathy Jayne Pearce behind.
So, I hear you ask, just where do you find help when your friends desert you in your hour of need?
For me, the answers are as follows:
- Turn to those that you trust the most – your friends may have deserted you, but your family may still possibly be willing to talk to you. It just depends how close you were to them in the first place. However, if you never had a strong rapport with your family, then don’t turn to them after you have been declared bankrupt, as you may discover that they reject you.
- Take control of your situation – in order to overcome your self-doubt you need to take control and responsibility of your situation, stop blaming yourself and feeling hard-done-by, and start learning more about how to solve your problem. Contact your local government and find out about how you can regain financial control over your life, and recover from bankruptcy. Ask these authorities about subsidies and if you are entitled to them, and help yourself to recover.
- Use online resources – search online for bankruptcy organisations and groups that are in your country, or that have up-to-date information on bankruptcy in your country. Read the material, and if needed, print-off any documents that feel relate directly to you. Start building yourself a self-help file that will enable you to develop and grow as a person, as you resolve your financial issues.
- Contact a debt educator – if you have no idea where to start in order to resolve your financial strife, or if you feel that you may continue to live beyond your means, then, it may be a good idea to consult a debt educator. These people will help you to understand where you went wrong financially, and then they will help you to learn new and effective ways to reduce your debt, so that you do not end up in the same situation once again.
- Contact a councillor – if you find that you are having difficulty coping, then do not be afraid to turn to a professional for help. If you don’t have friends or family that you can talk to then it is very important that you talk to someone, otherwise you risk having an emotional breakdown and experiencing depression.
- Make new likeminded friends – don’t be afraid to make new friends that are willing to share your experiences with you. While, most people will judge you, you will discover that there are handfuls that are very open-minded and willing to listen. Plus, you may even find other people who have been through a similar experience to you and who are willing to share their experiences.
“The friends that I have today are not the friends that I had, but the new friends that I have made, they know the new, improved me, and love me for who I am, not what I have.” Cathy J. Pearce, June 2010
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